1 post tagged “that woman”

My uncle can't speak Japanese, even though he's been married to my aunt for almost 30 years. He's very handsome, but a little dumb. Imagine Keanu Reeves only older and whiter.

Last night at dinner, he started insisting that the skin of the fish is delicious if you toast it. He failed to convince my mother, my aunt, or me. Then my aunt said in Japanese that "that woman" had told him about the skin being delicious.

"That woman" is another Japanese lady that my aunt comes across a lot in her work. She's married, but loves to flirt with other guys. My uncle, though a little on the dumb and socially awkward side, is very conventionally handsome. So you guessed it, she set her sights on him.

One day my aunt gets a phone call from "that woman's" husband. "Open your eyes and look at what's happening! My wife just got on her hands and knees and apologized for falling in love with your husband!"

Oh man, my uncle then got his ass seriously kicked. My aunt spelled it out to him. "Do you want to lose me, my sisters, your nieces and nephews?" To which he said, "I'll have nothing." Which is true, his parents are dead and his one brother is a constantly relapsing drug addict who shows up every few years asking for money.

Then "that woman" called him with her genius plan of them running away together. He told her, "what the fuck are you talking about? That was NEVER what I wanted." Which, for a gentle man of as little words as my uncle, was a big deal.

Ever since "that woman"-gate, my aunt has been constantly mean to my uncle, and my uncle has constantly been in the dog house. Things do get a little mean, especially when my aunt makes fun of him in Japanese with him in the room, and she's funny so it's hard not to laugh out loud.

To be fair, "that woman" still talks to him, and he still answers, so it is sort of his fault he's still in the dog house.

Personally, I think the whole situation is laughable because my uncle is such a clueless dunce and it's just funny to see him in the middle of all this drama. His looks are quite disproportionate to his intelligence, really.

So back to last night's dinner. He got up to toast the fish skin to show us how wonderful it was. My aunt told us in Japanese how "that woman" told him about the fish skin so she won't eat it, no matter what. Then he dropped the plate and it shattered into a million pieces all over the kitchen. He felt really stupid, but my aunt wouldn't get up to help.