5 posts tagged “second oldest aunt”

My mother and I yet again were dragged out to a party with my aunt's meditation group put on in honor of their "enlightened" teacher, a blond old white lady with a hindi name she gave herself. This time it was an early Christmas party.

I spent most of it hiding out in the kitchen with my uncle, who was hiding out in a bottle of bourbon. Straight. I joked about wearing one of my tight red slutty hostess dresses, but of course I had the good sense not to. Unfortunately, a 60-year old bottle blond with a permanent food belly did not. She wore almost an identical dress!

And then! We had to sing CHRISTMAS CAROLS for some reason. Why the hell should I have to know all this christian stuff by osmosis, when it has nothing to do with me? But I confess, I was forced out of hiding, and I partook in the carol singing. I shared a carol book with this funny old guy, and he kept messing up the lyrics and it was hilarious. I laughed my ass off, and had a good time. I always get along with old guys.

I basically blew off hanging out with an old friend/brother that I've known since I was a fetus. Our mothers bellies hung out together and we were born less than three months apart. I had to talk to his mother just now, and I went in ready to eat shit. I'm sorry, I blew your son off, I should have been more communicative, but I have been busy, plus we live a million miles from anywhere and I don't have a car.

So that wasn't my finest hour.

I think he should come visit me in Japan, which is where his parents were married after all.

And coming back to visit him and the hippie town I was born in is definitely on the top of my to do list. Just not quite yet.

Got a ghetto club boss email. He says business is really slow so I shouldn't expect to get lots of money. Alright.

My twin sister is coming today with her cat allergic boyfriend!

Their bedroom has been cleaned from top to bottom, and the door has been shut to keep the cats out.

My mother cooked a pumpkin pie and ginger cake, and made some Japanese dishes.

Should be fun. I hope my sister hasn't forgotten about bringing all my stuff up with her.

My aunt is insisting on taking me to the airport, but she has to set up her booth for a show the same day. So she expects me, my mother, and my uncle to all cram into the van with all her equipment stuffed into it, and I get rushed to the airport, and my mother loses a whole day of work hanging around helping my aunt with her work.

It just doesn't occur to my aunt that the world shouldn't bend over backwards for her convenience. She needs to learn that lesson some day. It's such an obvious lesson, it's just staring her right in the face, but she just doesn't see it.

I guess that's true for all of us. What's my lesson? I know it's staring me right in the face, but I just can't see it either.

We were watching the Deadliest Catch Thanksgiving marathon that was on tv the other day, and my aunt got really into it. She really likes Captain Sig (who doesn't?). On the phone today she said "I watched that thing again." I asked what exactly it was that she watched, and she said "Crab." She has decided to call the show "Crab."

I think....I am done!!!!!!

commence fireworks!

I just might be done with my grad school applications. I'm going to re-print a few things, check it over one more time, and then send them off tomorrow.

I worked fucking hard on this, so I MUST get in somewhere. I WILL get in somewhere!

fireworks again

It is my aunt and uncle's 27th wedding anniversary on Friday. 27 fricking years! I was two when they got married, and I remember the wedding. Me and my twin sister wore matching white lace dresses and in our heads we looked like princesses. In actuality we looked like stumpy little babies with brown bowl hair cuts. My aunt wore a wedding dress, and then a shimmering green kimono, and I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Alright, I'm going to go over everything one last time. Goodnight.

Here is my aunt's stuff after me and the other guy set it all up. Looks good doesn't it?

The show was in the gym of this Buddist temple. And the temple was in San Jose Japantown, the cutest Japantown I've ever been to. It was definitely very cool to see what remains of the established Japanese American community all come out. Which means a whole bunch of old genki peeps came out. Maybe things sort of started to die down after the concentration camps for Japanese Americans all those years ago. We're a much more scattered, diluted group these days. One lady told me it was her 88th birthday next week, and another lady was 91 years old! They were so happy and smiley and energetic and healthy. Believe me, if their blood line stayed in Japan, they would have been defeated by the world long ago. Old people are OLD in Japan.

My uncle can't speak Japanese, even though he's been married to my aunt for almost 30 years. He's very handsome, but a little dumb. Imagine Keanu Reeves only older and whiter.

Last night at dinner, he started insisting that the skin of the fish is delicious if you toast it. He failed to convince my mother, my aunt, or me. Then my aunt said in Japanese that "that woman" had told him about the skin being delicious.

"That woman" is another Japanese lady that my aunt comes across a lot in her work. She's married, but loves to flirt with other guys. My uncle, though a little on the dumb and socially awkward side, is very conventionally handsome. So you guessed it, she set her sights on him.

One day my aunt gets a phone call from "that woman's" husband. "Open your eyes and look at what's happening! My wife just got on her hands and knees and apologized for falling in love with your husband!"

Oh man, my uncle then got his ass seriously kicked. My aunt spelled it out to him. "Do you want to lose me, my sisters, your nieces and nephews?" To which he said, "I'll have nothing." Which is true, his parents are dead and his one brother is a constantly relapsing drug addict who shows up every few years asking for money.

Then "that woman" called him with her genius plan of them running away together. He told her, "what the fuck are you talking about? That was NEVER what I wanted." Which, for a gentle man of as little words as my uncle, was a big deal.

Ever since "that woman"-gate, my aunt has been constantly mean to my uncle, and my uncle has constantly been in the dog house. Things do get a little mean, especially when my aunt makes fun of him in Japanese with him in the room, and she's funny so it's hard not to laugh out loud.

To be fair, "that woman" still talks to him, and he still answers, so it is sort of his fault he's still in the dog house.

Personally, I think the whole situation is laughable because my uncle is such a clueless dunce and it's just funny to see him in the middle of all this drama. His looks are quite disproportionate to his intelligence, really.

So back to last night's dinner. He got up to toast the fish skin to show us how wonderful it was. My aunt told us in Japanese how "that woman" told him about the fish skin so she won't eat it, no matter what. Then he dropped the plate and it shattered into a million pieces all over the kitchen. He felt really stupid, but my aunt wouldn't get up to help.