6 posts tagged “grad school apps”

I don't care who reads this, I'm still writing.

So I spoke to Sensei (a nice customer who comes to our club more out of a sense of Japanese-style obligation than anything else) two nights ago about clubs in Ginza. He said that my boss is good friends with a mama in Ginza, and that I should work there. "You'd be real popular there!" he said.

Then last night he came in with two older, refined looking ladies. It was the Ginza mama and her younger sister. He brought them to introduce me, and I was nervous. They were nice though.

They said that my boss used to be a really great looking guy. Well I'll tell you one thing, he isn't anymore. Looks really are fleeting. At the end of the day, when your looks fade, it just kind of sucks because all that's left is whatever crap you have on the inside. Like my boss is just a tired, jittery weird guy with a combover and that weird, pickled-preserved look a lot of night workers have. How come night workers get that look?

I didn't expect to be hearing from schools so soon. Another school got back to me and told me that they'd like to send my application to a slightly different department, and the Chair (I think that title's kind of funny) is interested in reviewing it. I said "alright!" Even though they were basically kind of saying that they didn't want me in their department, but it's not a rejection rejection!

Plus, got some good feedback from freelance projects that have been hanging over my head. I'm feeling more positive today.

Went out to a bar after work with Mia last night. She literally had luggage with her. She's been working as a Companion for so long, she's really in high demand and makes a lot of money in this season. So she had all these Companion outfits, wigs, curling irons, and records (she DJs too). It's like she's carrying her house around with her.

The bar was a funky little place with a big DJ booth and a bunch of DJ geeks spinning records and having a good time. It was like facial hair and baggy clothes central. I mean none of these guys looked like they had ever seen the inside of a hostess club, it was refreshing. No wonder Mia always goes there to chill after work. [side note to Tik, no I did not have a crush on the bar tender!]

We brought a customer over, and that customer got so drunk because he kept ordering dry martinis. Jesus. And I have three names which got annoying when one of Mia's guy friends tried to put me on the guest list for some party tonight (which I probably won't go to because I'm going over to my aunt's instead).

Alright, enough rambling. Back to work!

My time here is coming to a close.

No more lazing around. No more healthy square meals cooked for me every day. No more fluffy cats keeping me company. No more mother to hang around with. It's back to the real world.

I had some specific goals in coming back here. The main one was to finally get my grad school applications done.

Besides all the time and effort, it cost me a lot of money.

The GRE prep course: $1,000
The GRE test: $150
Application fees: $60~$105, and I applied to nine schools
Ordering official transcripts: $16, and in total I had to order 13
Ordering official GRE scores: $20, and in total I had to order nine
First class mail for letters of recommendation forms: $25, I mailed out two of these
Mailing supplemental forms to schools: $13, and I mailed out four in total

Which means it cost me over $2,300 just to APPLY!

It's probably going to cost me more too, because I have to order more transcripts and GRE score reports for scholarship/fellowship/financial aid applications.

I've worked so hard, and spent lots of money. It will all be worth it in the end though. It BETTER be worth it!.

I'm going cross eyed from all these stupid confusing, disorganized financial aid forms and applications. I've just decided to not look at them until I get to Tokyo. I'm going to enjoy my last three days here. I've finished all my applications FINALLY, except for two that won't let me upload some things, but that should be sorted out by tomorrow.

I got a job! Translating war memoirs for a writer who needs them for his research. Yes yes yes yes YES! I'm looking at this as a sign of things to come. This acceptance should indicate a deluge of acceptance letters in the near future. My friend told me to visualize myself succeeding. So instead of drowning in images of myself failing miserably all over the place, I'm imagining myself getting accepted all over the place.

My mother works so hard. She has two jobs and she stays up late every night and wakes up early every morning and even works on her one day off. But she never made me feel like I was in the way or that I was draining her money, free time, energy, or inconveniencing her in any way. She's actually acting like it's a privilege to have me around. Maybe that's how things are supposed  to be, but that's not how it was with my father and sisters. I shouldn't hold on to my anger, but honestly, I'm going to be upset about how they treated me for a long time.

I know people who grew up never knowing if there'd be food in the house, or whether their parents would come home, or if they'd be kicked out of wherever they were staying. It wasn't that bad for me, but we lived in constant fear of my father's irrational temper though.

I told my friend Marty about everything that went down. I told her that when people are accusing you of being crazy, you can't really defend yourself. She said yes you can. Just hold your head up and live your life (how Oprah is that?), and she is right. That's what I'm doing anyway.

Speaking of holding my head up (haha!), the ghetto club is already stressing me out. The boss told me not to expect steady work or a good salary, then D-girl tells me that they need me back really badly. My best customers never even go in anymore apparently. Excuse me, why should they? They're MY customers, they want ME, they don't want the ghetto club, that's for sure. Well six months ago they wanted me, now they probably can't even remember who I am.

When I get back to Japan:
- I'll figure out those financial aid forms
- I have to put a major plan in place to MAKE a lot of money and SAVE a lot of money. If I think I'm going to grad school, I seriously need cash flow, yo
- I'm taking my favorite aunt and spinster-before-her-time cousin on a vacation to Korea
- I'm sending my mother bath salts, green tea, Japanese sweets, and some books, DVDs and CDs
- But first, I'm going to Australia!

And before any of that, I'm taking a bath right now. I'll read over some of the translation/research material in the tub (because I'm working again!), and enjoy the open space and silence of this mountain California town. Lord knows I won't get much of that in Tokyo.

Oh shit, I'd better email my friend that I blew off too, before I forget.

I tried emailing a very interesting Associate Professor who teaches in probably THE most prestigious school in the world (rhymes with carve-hard)...and he responded to me within the hour!

Unfortunately, it was to inform me that he was leaving the prestigious school he had been associated with for 20 years, to take a position at a university I'd barely heard of, located in one of the freezing cold States that might as well be Canada. Further investigation revealed that said university is one of the best in the country -- if you're into sciencey researchy stuff. Not so much in the department I was interested in. In fact, I basically couldn't find a department specializing in the subject I want to study.

(*_*)wtf

I probably didn't have a shot at the prestigious school anyway, but he was the guy I was interested in and he was the one I wanted to study with.

Jesus christ, will I ever be done? Now I have to apply for financial aid stuff. I have to somehow come up with thousands and thousands of dollars of cash, yo. A lot of its due in a little over a month, which means I have to apply before I even know if I get in or not? WTF? Unless I'm missing something, that means I have to apply for financial aid through schools I might not even get into/choose to go to. Beautiful.

I need lots and lots of cash. Looks like it's time to get back to work!

I think....I am done!!!!!!

commence fireworks!

I just might be done with my grad school applications. I'm going to re-print a few things, check it over one more time, and then send them off tomorrow.

I worked fucking hard on this, so I MUST get in somewhere. I WILL get in somewhere!

fireworks again

It is my aunt and uncle's 27th wedding anniversary on Friday. 27 fricking years! I was two when they got married, and I remember the wedding. Me and my twin sister wore matching white lace dresses and in our heads we looked like princesses. In actuality we looked like stumpy little babies with brown bowl hair cuts. My aunt wore a wedding dress, and then a shimmering green kimono, and I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Alright, I'm going to go over everything one last time. Goodnight.