8 posts from April 2009

When I go to the Comedy Central website, it tells me:

You are so not logged in

*****

This happened awhile ago, but one of my New York City dwelling good friends, Marty, had the good fortune of meeting Andy Samberg (of Dick in a Box fame). She subsequently put a photo up of herself snuggling with good old Andy as her profile picture on Facebook.

Andy Samberg, though definitely cute, does have that guy-next-door look to him. So Baldy (who needs to get back in touch with US culture) just assumed that it was a picture of her new boyfriend. This assumption was even more cemented when Marty inexplicably changed her status to "in a relationship."

She did not know that changing her relationship status would send an update to everyone in the Facebook universe. When I asked her who the lucky gentleman (or lady -- she had an abusive girlfriend once) was, she said,

"you're like the 100th person to ask me that. I just got pissed off seeing everybody's relationship status, so I changed my status to piss other people off, I didn't know the whole world would be updated on it."

Which doesn't exactly make a whole lot of logical sense, but whatever.

Here's an avatar of (the single, not in a relationship) Marty I made awhile ago.

Marty

And here's "Dick in a Box" just because you probably haven't seen it in awhile. Don't laugh too hard, Karina-bot.

Saturday Night Live - Dick In A Box

2 comments

Happy Monday!

Good things people do in their blogs:
- expand my understanding of the world with fun/funny/interesting links or stories
- share their stories of humiliation and failure, so I feel less alone in mine

Annoying things people do in their blogs:
- blog about how they can't/don't blog lately
- write about why they write
- long winded drawn out pointless/punchline-less stories
- no opinion, or self political-correcting
- complaints about people's grammar and punctuation.

Who gives a shit?

That's just me. I'm sure everyone's got their own blogging peeves.

Saw this on Mr. Hopeless Romantic's blog.

Rare photographs of life in North Korea.

I don't know the details, but an ethnically Korean Japanese guy (for complicated political reasons many ethnic Koreans got stuck in Japan after WWII and they were -- and in many ways still are -- a severely discriminated against minority, and they spearheaded a lot of anti-discrimination laws which people like me enjoy the benefits of) told me that if Japan had held out for two more weeks before "bearing the unbearable" and surrendering to the Allied forces after getting two atomic bombs dropped on our heads, Japan would have been split in two too, with half of us going to the communists and only the other half enjoying glorious democracy.

I wonder if that happened in a parallel world. Like there's a dark and suffering North Japan in some parallel universe. I feel like the emperor would be on that side.

Wars cast such long shadows.

Apparently this was a big huge hit in Japan like fifty years ago. Freddie sings the chorus in Japanese. Teo Toriatte means "holding each other's hands." His pronunciation's good too!

Here's Queen live in Japan.

I just did this Longevity Calculator I found online. Apparently my life expectancy is 84.4 years old. That's not too bad I guess. And my biological age is 28.1, which isn't bad since my actual age is 29.

Some big things keeping me from optimal health are my tendency to get angry, and the fact that I'm poor as fuck. Plus (and this isn't really a surprise) a little too much alcohol. I could do more spiritual activities, and exercise some more too.

But I'm pretty sure my anger is a big thing. Even though I would say that I'm the least angry person in my family. Whenever I get angry, I feel like I'm channeling some family members and I get really upset with myself.

If I fix these problems, I could add 10.7 years of healthy years to my life.

I don't really care about a long life, I just want a healthy life.

For some reason, even though I'm having a lot of dramas in my real life, I only feel comfortable talking about my night life. Probably because everything is going to shit and life is hard and I feel like nobody will ever cut me a break. jayzus.

Anyways. I'm a little drunk right now.

I love the Romanian girl at work. She's so cute. She is doing my and the Mexican girl's horoscopes. It's taking her a long time, but I don't care. She drinks a lot and sleeps all day and when she has a paid date and has to meet a customer at 6pm, she thinks that's a ridiculously early time to wake up. She had a bunch of paid dates last week so she needs a few more days to complete my reading.

She says her parents were really into horoscope reading, and she has many many old texts in Romanian that she uses as reference.

But she said to me, "I saw that the male parent in your life was very...overpowering!" she said, making a fist and pretending to punch something. Yeah, he was a violent bastard and I woke up every day wishing I could be strong enough to run away.

I started to tell her this, but she said "no, don't tell me, I don't want to listen until I finish."

Then I said to her, "i just want some good luck, everything I try goes to shit, I feel like giving up."

She said "don't give up, you will have success."

I felt like squeezing her so hard in a big huge hug just then.

I'll have success! Really?

Apparently the Mexican girl will become a star. I think she'll be a star in Korea. She better not forget us!

So! the customer that treats me like a princess came and treated me like a princess again. Which was cool because I had one customer COMPLETELY flake on a paid date tonight.

Anyways, after gorgeous and expensive food, the customer that treats me like a princess asked the sushi chef to prepare me a futomaki (which means "fat sushi roll") for breakfast. This is the futomaki to end all futomakis. I feel like such a princess all over again.

Futomaki

The taxi ride cost about 1,000yen. When I got out, I gave her a 5,000yen note and told her to keep the change. I spent the night being treated like a princess, so I decided to pass it on a little.

I am now applying for a scholarship that will possibly get me into the Japanese university of my choice. That would be a dream come true.

Financially, I finally got off my ass (speaking of which, the Mexican girl at work told me that I'm always talking about butts, but I can't help it, I'm American that way) to send out some invoices that were long overdue, so I should be getting some major cash flow soon.

Professionally, hopefully this summer interpretation course will get me to some new places.

Health-wise, I'm exercising and cooking healthy again.

Night-work-wise, I like the club I'm at and I've gotten some good customers.

Things are chugging along.

This transvestite club looked like the ghetto club I used to work at. I am so glad I don't work in a place like that anymore. The mama-san was a gorgeous older tranny who was so beautiful in her youth, she worked in a regular hostess club and was the top girl there. The chi-mama was a onabe, or woman who dresses like a man. She (or I guess He) said he was 44, although he definitely looked younger. He/She dressed and looked like a typical host, but still had the aura of an older housewife. As a side note, the mama-san, though technically a man, was completely female and in my mind I can only think of her as a "she." This onabe on the other hand was technically a woman who lived her life like a man, but she still seemed quite feminine, which is why I keep calling him "her."

ANYWAYS, it was slightly lame. I ran home as soon as I could because the customer got so drunk and puked in the toilets again. Meanshile the tranny club got crowded with some very, very, handsome and sharp looking men in suits. Hmmm...