tomorrow's the day!

At long last, the big day is tomorrow. Best Friend's wedding is at 11:30am (yes, you heard me), and we have to be looking good, smelling good, and feeling good. Major hair, makeup and undergarment adjusting will commence from about 5am.

Amazingly enough I have absolutely no jet-lag, whereas Best Friend and her betrothed have incredibly bad cases. And I figured out why I'm so lucky. Because I work at night! I didn't need to adjust my schedule!

I think I suffer from the delusion that I can blend in with white people and white bread America. But these are the questions and comments I've been getting from Best Friend's white American extended family:

"Your English is very good."
"What kind of name is [my Eastern European last name]? Is that Japanese?"
"So...(awkward pause) um...where are you from?" (this is probably the most popular question).

and so on and so forth. And to be honest, their culture kind of confuses me. I have to read a weird quote from their bible tomorrow, and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I looked over it. I swear part of it literally says "love is not puffed up." That's from the bible! I feel like adding "like a rice crispy."

In Japan you're called a Christmas Cake after 25 (because nobody wants you after the 25th), but I thought I could get away from jokes about my spinsterhood in America. I guess 28 and single is ripe and ready for spinster jokes in any country.

Good thing I'm used to it. My skin's pretty thick.

Me and Best Friend were skipping around the holy trinity of TV channels (Comedy Central, VH1, E), and a certain disgusting commercial kept coming up. It was for something called Sonic, which I assume is a gross fast food store of some kind. And I'm not joking, they sell a donut with chocolate filling that you dip into icing sauce. In case you didn't catch that, it's a DONUT, with CHOCOLATE FILLING, that comes with ICING SAUCE to dip it into.

What is wrong with America? I swear people keep getting fatter and fatter and fatter, and it's not their fault if this is what's sold to them. It's cruel, it's inhumane, it's sick! And it needs to stop, please. It's just not right.