Highlights of my 20s, in 25-word form

The highlight of my day. 13 years old, but I could tell you’d be a heartbreaker. You must be a grown man now. That’s crazy.
My first job after college was (of course) teaching English in a Junior High School. I was crap at it and I hated everything about it. Except this one funny little kid who'd always come to my desk and talk to me about random stuff. As far as I could tell, he wasn't one of the geeks, but he wasn't really a popular kid either. He was one of those funny kids that managed to be himself without getting the crap beaten out of him. I think he had a silly crush on me, which he didn't hide very well. It's just weird for me to think that he's now a grown man. He must be 20 or so.

You were Chris Farley and I was Dave Spade. For two years we were inseparable, and I’ve never laughed more in my life. Thank you.
My good friend. She was the funniest person I'd ever met up to that point in my life. She was like a big pinball that whizzed into me and hurled me into fun directions. She's now in New York. Love her.

The world was like a carnival and you were an angel. I fell so in love with you. Thanks for the memories. It was heaven.
This is about the first time I went to Thailand and then totally fell for an Israeli guy. When I die and go to heaven, I'll go back to this time in my life for sure. I wish I could bottle that feeling.

I almost had your baby, I pray for her still. I know you don’t. You’re an irresponsible idiot. Who am I kidding? So am I…
This was the biggest love of my life so far. We had fun in the beginning, but we were too young and stupid to call it quits when we should have.

Get an education. Get a real job. Pay off your debt. Pay me back my money. Stop playing your stupid computer game all day. Etc.
This is the nagging mantra I repeated to the biggest love of my life on a daily basis. It eventually drove him crazy.

You were one sexy gym teacher. I was one dumb girl. I don’t remember how you ended up in my bed. But it was awesome!
This is the guy I cheated on him with, when things were just busted up beyond repair. We weren't even able to have a conversation without fighting. I think my subconscious made me cheat so that we could put our dying relationship out of its misery. It worked. And I still don't feel bad about it.

Little sis, you were all grown up. You were kicking ass in Bangkok. It was great to see you, even though you had a cold.
This is about the time my baby sister moved to Bangkok. I visited her and she was speaking Thai to the taxi drivers and being all grown up and cool. But then she caught a cold and wore a big hooded sweater even though it was really hot. This was right when The Order of the Phoenix had come out, so I called her a Dementor.

Oh man, Happy Pizza almost killed us. The waterfalls were so beautiful I thought my head would explode. We fought, but that’s what sisters do.
This was when my twin sister joined me in a trek around Asia. We got in some big fights and even ended up going our separate ways. But we had some good times.

That's it for now. I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad right now, going over these memories.